Preparing Couples Financially For Fertility and Adoption- understanding financial aspects of adoption/fertility, finding the money, overcoming money road blocks, and learning how to communicate about money during adoption and fertility.
Episodes
Friday Dec 13, 2019
Friday Dec 13, 2019
Can you really make $1,000 a month teaching English online in your pajamas? Laura Coleman talks with VIPKID teacher Rebecca Bratsman on the Adoption and Fertility Finance Show today about her side hustle teaching English to Chinese students in a virtual classroom.
As an online ESL teacher for two years, Rebecca has a lot of advice about:
- How to prepare for the VIPKID job interview
- Best practices for an ESL teacher
- How to create an educational background
- The importance of self-care and sleep in this job
- What kind of teachers the company is looking for
Laura and Rebecca talk about the tax implications of independent contractor work, and the importance of breaking finance goals into manageable chunks. The minimum requirements for teaching for VIPKID are:
- A Bachelor’s degree in any field
- A minimum of one year teaching children (this does not have to be classroom experience)
- Eligibility to work in the USA or Canada
- Native English speaker
- Reliable Internet connection (generally, if your internet can handle Skype, you should be fine)
- Laptop or Desktop computer
- A quiet workspace
Once hired, the Chinese government requires teachers to complete a TESOL certificate. VIPKID offers this to their teachers at no cost, and it takes about ten hours to complete.
The application process can be daunting! There is an initial interview and then mock classes to show that you understand how to teach ESL to children. It is always helpful to have someone walk you through the process. You can contact Rebecca via Facebook if you’d like help through the interview process.
An important update: As of November 12, 2019, VIPKID will no longer be hiring teachers who live in the state of California.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of adoption, fertility, and finances.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your 15 minute free no judgement appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where you’d like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Links mentioned in this podcast:
Rebecca’s VIPKID referral code
Today's episode is sponsored by The Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course.
So many couples that have started the adoption journey become overwhelmed with the amount of money that they need to save for the process. It can be so discouraging. With knowledge comes power. At Family Money Coaching, we believe in Debt-Free Adoption. That’s why we created the Grant Success Course, to help you find, apply, and obtain FREE money. It’ll take some work, but you can do it. The worksheets, excel downloads, checklists, and videos in the Grant Success Course will help guide you on what to put in your grant applications. Ideas will be sparked by the questions in the downloadable PDF, success tips with what to look for to find the ideal grant for you, a list of 80 grants for adoption and 20 grants for fertility, a checklist to help you stay on task, and a list of documents needed for application.
There’s a bonus Adoption Financial Planner that will provide tracking for your Adoption Budget, the ICPC travel budget, Spending Plan which is needed for the home study and grant, tracking income sources, calendar to help with due dates, budget estimator, and a place for all contacts during the adoption process.
Friday Dec 06, 2019
Friday Dec 06, 2019
On this episode of the Adoption and Fertility Finance Show, Laura Coleman talks with certified financial planner Pam Horack from Your Financial Mom about the funding and financial process for IUI and IVF treatments. Pam shares her personal experience and how she used employee benefits to make fertility treatments more affordable for her family. Finally, she shares some strategies for planning that could reduce the cost of your fertility treatments.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of adoption, fertility, and finances. Join our community on Facebook, Paying for Adoption.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your 15 minute free no judgement appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where you’d like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Links from this podcast:
Your Financial Mom’s Facebook page
Pathfinder Planning LLC- Pam’s website
Looking for another way to raise money for fertility or adoption? Check out the Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course.
So many couples that have started the adoption journey become overwhelmed with the amount of money that they need to save for the process. It can be so discouraging. With knowledge comes power. At Family Money Coaching, we believe in Debt-Free Adoption. That's why we created the Grant Success Course, to help you find, apply, and obtain FREE money. It'll take some work, but you can do it. The worksheets, excel downloads, checklists, and videos in the Grant Success Course will help guide you on what to put in your grant applications. Ideas will be sparked by the questions in the downloadable PDF, success tips with what to look for to find the ideal grant for you, a list of 80 grants for adoption and 20 grants for fertility, a checklist to help you stay on task, and a list of documents needed for application.
There's a bonus Adoption Financial Planner that will provide tracking for your Adoption Budget, the ICPC travel budget, Spending Plan which is needed for the home study and grant, tracking income sources, calendar to help with due dates, budget estimator, and a place for all contacts during the adoption process.
Friday Nov 22, 2019
Friday Nov 22, 2019
Laura Coleman from Family Money Coaching and Mark Parrett from Outpost Advisors and Abraham’s Wallet talk about the triple tax-advantages of the Health Savings Account (HSA) on the Adoption and Fertility Finance Show today. Mark is a fee-only financial advisor registered in Utah and Ohio, and he writes about how to run your home and dough like a Biblical boss.
What is a Health Savings Account and How Can I Get One?
Only high deductible health care plans (HDHP) have a health savings account and the criteria is determined by the IRS. From the IRS website: For 2020, the IRS defines a high deductible health plan as any plan with a deductible of at least $1,400 for an individual or $2,800 for a family. An HDHP’s total yearly out-of-pocket expenses (including deductibles, copayments, and coinsurance) can’t be more than $6,900 for an individual or $13,800 for a family. (This limit doesn't apply to out-of-network services.) HSAs help ease the pain of expensive deductibles by letting you pay for medical expenses with untaxed money.
Mark explains a few different ways to use the reimbursement structure so that your money can continue to grow until retirement. You can pay for your expenses out of pocket, invest a portion of your HSA, and then later reimburse yourself with your saved receipts. The triple-tax advantaged part comes when you put money in tax-free, let it grow tax-free, and take it out without paying taxes on it. After you turn 65, you can withdraw it like a 401k for nonmedical expenses, but you will pay taxes then if you use it for that reason.
Maximizing the HSA for Fertility Treatments and Adoption
Laura and Mark discuss how to use the HSA when going through fertility treatments. Mark cautions that state laws can vary on this issue and to pay close attention to what is allowed by law. The maximum amount that can be saved in an HSA is $7,000 [edit: The 2020 IRS guidelines increased this to $7,100 a year. You can use also use a limited use FSA at the same time, but follow the IRS guidelines on this.
Potential Pitfalls in the HSA
Mark talks about the hidden fees that can eat up your HSA’s growth. He explains that often an employer will pay for the fees, and once an employee leaves their old employer, the fees may be transferred over to you. Mark recommends keeping an eye on debit card fees as well. If you are changing employers and would like to change HSA banks, he recommends Fidelity, Ameritrade or any good brokerage company with low or no fees.
Should I Invest My HSA?
Laura and Mark talk about weighing the family’s medical needs with the benefits of the HSA. What’s the goal with your money? Will you need it soon? Can you be comfortable paying out-of-pocket medical costs without being reimbursed? Will you delay going to the doctor
because of the high deductible? Consider these questions when you’re deciding if an HDHP will work for you and when you are deciding to invest your HSA. Some plans have an investment threshold for how much you need to keep in the HSA. Find out what your plan allows.
Where Should I Invest My HSA?
If you don’t understand investing, how do you choose where to put your money? The answer: It depends on your situation. Hourly and fee-based financial planners can help you sit down and make a plan for your future. Fee-based planners help you make decisions that are best for YOU and not what’s best for their bank accounts.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of adoption, fertility, and finances.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your 15 minute free no judgement appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where you’d like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Links Mentioned in this Podcast
XY Planning Network- Fee-only financial planners
Abraham’s Wallet- Run your home and dough like a Biblical boss
Outpost Advisors- Mark Parrett’s financial planning website
HDHP guidelines from Healthcare.gov
Join our Community on Facebook and share ideas on how to prepare financially for adoption: Paying for Adoption
This episode was sponsored by The Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course.
So many couples that have started the adoption journey become overwhelmed with the amount of money that they need to save for the process. It can be so discouraging. With knowledge comes power. At Family Money Coaching, we believe in Debt-Free Adoption. That's why we created the Grant Success Course, to help you find, apply, and obtain FREE money. It'll take some work, but you can do it. The worksheets, excel downloads, checklists, and videos in the Grant Success Course will help guide you on what to put in your grant applications. Ideas will be sparked by the questions in the downloadable PDF, success tips with what to look for to find the ideal grant for you, a list of 80 grants for adoption and 20 grants for fertility, a checklist to help you stay on task, and a list of documents needed for application.
There's a bonus Adoption Financial Planner that will provide tracking for your Adoption Budget, the ICPC travel budget, Spending Plan which is needed for the home study and grant, tracking income sources, calendar to help with due dates, budget estimator, and a place for all contacts during the adoption process.
Friday Nov 15, 2019
Friday Nov 15, 2019
Matt Doran, a certified fee-only financial planner from Sage Wealth Plans talks with Laura Coleman on the Adoption and Fertility Finance Show about the importance of saving for today and tomorrow, and how to spend with intention on the things you want the most.
Reconciling different money priorities in a marriage
Matt shares the five ways people think about their goals to support the things they care most about. They are:
● Family and Relationships
● Spirit, or the things that fill your soul and make you feel abundant and alive
● Creative pursuits, or how unique talents and experiences impact others in a positive way
● Giving of one’s time
● A place or setting with strong memories attached to it
Matt talks about how his work as a financial planner impacts families and helps them spend money in a healthy way.
How can you end up with guilt-free spending in your family?
Spend aligned with your values. This simple idea requires a lot of communication to make sure you’re on the same page with your spouse. Laura and Matt discuss how grief and sorrow can affect our spending. They discuss the difficulty of shifting from saving money to spending money on expensive but important things like adoption and fertility.
Matt says, “When your spending is aligned with your values, you will have greater satisfaction when you spend.”
Balancing long-term financial goals with adoption and fertility
Using his perspective as a long-term financial planner, Matt talks about the saving necessary to prepare for retirement and adoption and fertility. Where can one make adjustments that won’t harm the family’s long term goals? Where can one double down to accelerate progress on savings?
Matt warns that relying heavily on borrowing for adoption and fertility is not a sustainable financial plan for a family. He describes the need for cash flow planning, which is a living breathing document that provides the vision for decision making while also creating the flex that’s needed to accommodate for change.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of adoption, fertility, and finances.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your 15 minute free no judgement appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where you’d like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Links Mentioned in this Podcast:
Simple Wealth, Inevitable Wealth by Nick Murray
Sage Wealth Plans, Matt’s company
matt.doran@sagewealthplans.com
Sage Wealth Planning LLC on Facebook
Today's episode was sponsored by the Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course.
With knowledge comes power. At Family Money Coaching, we believe in Debt-Free Adoption. That's why we created the Grant Success Course, to help you find, apply, and obtain FREE money. It'll take some work, but you can do it. The worksheets, excel downloads, checklists, and videos in the Grant Success Course will help guide you on what to put in your grant applications. Ideas will be sparked by the questions in the downloadable PDF, success tips with what to look for to find the ideal grant for you, a list of 80 grants for adoption and 20 grants for fertility, a checklist to help you stay on task, and a list of documents needed for application.
There's a bonus Adoption Financial Planner that will provide tracking for your Adoption Budget, the ICPC travel budget, Spending Plan which is needed for the home study and grant, tracking income sources, calendar to help with due dates, budget estimator, and a place for all contacts during the adoption process.
Friday Nov 08, 2019
Friday Nov 08, 2019
On the Adoption and Fertility Finance Show today, Laura interviews insurance agent Melissa Curtis from Woodall Agency Insurance in Tennessee on how to protect the financial future of special needs children.
How to Start a Special Needs Trust
Melissa breaks down the steps to setting up a special needs trust:
- Find an attorney.
- Get the trust together.
- Get a financial advisor.
- Secure mom and dad’s retirement.
- Get a will.
- Get life insurance.
Laura and Melissa discuss how a special needs trust protects the Social Security eligibility of the special needs child. They talk about some of the unique circumstances that must be addressed when providing for a child’s lifetime medical needs, and how important it is for parents to have this conversation before it’s too late.
Helping an Adult Special Needs Child
Melissa shares how life insurance, both whole and term, can be used to fund a special needs trust and support the adult special needs child that outlives their parents. Melissa discusses how a special needs trust can purchase life insurance so that the policy doesn’t lapse.
Melissa talks about the pros and cons of naming a child a trust beneficiary, and how to put some handcuffs on the money to protect it from the mistakes of youth.
Links mentioned in the podcast:
Woodall Agency Insurance
Woodall Agency on Facebook
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of adoption, fertility, and finances.
Today's Podcast Episode is sponsored by the Adoption and Fertility Grant Success Course. Click on the link to learn more.
So many couples that have started the adoption journey become overwhelmed with the amount of money that they need to save for the process. It can be so discouraging. With knowledge comes power. At Family Money Coaching, we believe in Debt-Free Adoption. That's why we created the Grant Success Course, to help you find, apply, and obtain FREE money. It'll take some work, but you can do it. The worksheets, excel downloads, checklists, and videos in the Grant Success Course will help guide you on what to put in your grant applications. Ideas will be sparked by the questions in the downloadable PDF, success tips with what to look for to find the ideal grant for you, a list of 80 grants for adoption and 20 grants for fertility, a checklist to help you stay on task, and a list of documents needed for application.
There's a bonus Adoption Financial Planner that will provide tracking for your Adoption Budget, the ICPC travel budget, Spending Plan which is needed for the home study and grant, tracking income sources, calendar to help with due dates, budget estimator, and a place for all contacts during the adoption process.
Friday Nov 01, 2019
Friday Nov 01, 2019
Welcome back to Season 2 of the Adoption and Fertility Finance Show! Laura Coleman continues to explore the intersection of finances and adoption and fertility with an emphasis on building strong families.
In today’s podcast, Laura interviews Walter at Follow the Orange Backpack about intentionally planning a Disney vacation that is affordable, but that doesn’t bankrupt the family.
How to Save Money on Lodging at Disney World.
The most expensive part of a Disney vacation budget is lodging, either on or off the park. The next most expensive budget busters are park tickets and transportation/food.
Walter talks about the benefits of staying in the park to help reduce the cost of transportation. He talks about the benefits of several families going in together to rent a house outside the park. He encourages families to visit the parks in the off-peak times of January to March and Labor Day to Thanksgiving.
How to Save Money on Transportation at Disney World.
Disney works hard to make transportation easy in the parks. They have their own transportation system, and they make every effort to make it accessible. If you are flying into Orlando, you can take the Magic Express directly from the airport to the resort and skip renting a car.
When staying outside of Disney, shop around for the best deal on car rentals from places like Enterprise, Hotwire, and Alamo.
How to Save Money on Tickets at Disney World.
While planning your Disney vacation, remember that there is always a sale going on; you just need to find it. Undercover Tourist is a website that shows you Disney hacks, including ways to find cheaper tickets.
Walter at Follow the Orange Backpack also encourages families to use credit card points from places like Target, Fred Meyer, and Costco to maximize the cost of the trip. If you have limited time at the parks, Follow the Orange Backpack has downloadable pdf itineraries with great ideas and plans on how to maximize your time at the parks.
How Can You Have the Most Fun Possible at Disney?
Walter advises families to take frequent breaks, eat regularly, and go at the pace of their children while at the parks. He talks about the importance of creating anticipation for the children to stretch as much enjoyment from the vacation as possible.
Special Grants and Programs for Adoption and Foster Families Going to Disney World
In the podcast, Walter and Laura talk about Disney grants for adoptive families. After the podcast, we realized that there aren’t any official Disney grants, but there are non-profit organizations who offer grants for fostering and adoptive families. In addition, Disney encourages visitors to let the staff know if you’re celebrating a Gotcha Day or similar special event. Disney parks work hard to make your family vacation a memorable event.
Funding Love helps adoptive families build deeper connections and stronger bonds through an all-expenses paid vacation to Disney World.
Adventure is Out There seeks to increase the welfare of family relationships through Disney and family bonding experiences.
Both of these non-profits are new and would like to get the word out about their mission to help adoptive families heal and bond through a Disney experience. If you know of any adoptive family who could benefit from their purpose, please share this podcast with them.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of adoption, fertility, and finances.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your judgement-free appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where you’d like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Friday Jun 07, 2019
Friday Jun 07, 2019
Is an adopted child more vulnerable to identity theft? Laura interviews Leslie Tayne from Tayne Law Group and the new author of Life and Debt about the unique challenges adopted children face, and how they can be protected from credit fraud.
The Social Security Number: where everything financial begins.
Adopted children are more likely to have their Social Security number exposed to a larger number of people, especially if they’ve been in the foster care system, had a long stay in the hospital, or were taken care of by family members. The first step to prevent fraud with adopted children is to change a child’s social security number. This is a quick and easy process that only requires:
- Adoption decree
- Birth certificate
- Previous Social Security card
How can you protect an older adopted child with potential credit problems?
Leslie urges all parents to run a credit history on their adopted children with all three credit bureaus as a beginning protective measure. She also warns that people who steal Social Security Numbers know that you’ll be more vigilant about fraud in the beginning, so it is important to continue to monitor your adopted child’s credit.
Can a credit freeze solve the problem of fraud?
A credit freeze can compromise a child’s ability to receive credit like student loans. If a child becomes an authorized user on one of your accounts, your linked accounts can be negatively impacted by their credit freeze, and vice versa. Leslie cautions against a credit freeze as a definite solution to fraud. She advocates for proactively protecting your information.
Preventing credit card fraud after your child turns 18
Because a parent is not allowed to see their child’s credit information once they become a legal adult, it is important for a parent to have a Power of Attorney and authorization before that date. With firsthand experience, Leslie shares that teenagers simply don’t have the brain capacity to understand what you’re doing to help their credit. Teenagers haven’t figure things out and they just don’t care yet.
What can you do if your child already has a damaged credit history?
First, inform the creditors about the fraud. Then file a police report about fraudulent activity. Often debtors do not want to file a claim if the theft was committed by a family member. If this is the case for you, you’ll have to settle or pay the debt. Leslie shares some bankruptcy alternatives for those who would like to avoid filing criminal charges.
What other financial concerns should adoptive parents be concerned about?
Leslie cautions that international adoptions are not exempt from these kind of problems. She also discusses some of the potential complications about custodial bank accounts if you are having credit problems of your own.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of family, marriage, money, fertility and adoption.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your judgement-free appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where you’d like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Thursday May 30, 2019
Thursday May 30, 2019
Have you ever wanted to become an Airbnb host, but you didn’t know where to start? Laura Coleman at Family Money Coaching talks with Saffron, an active duty service member, about her side hustle renting out rooms in her house. Saffron shares some tips for increasing your booking chances, how to protect yourself as a homeowner, and how multiple sources of income can really turbo-charge your goals.
Is your home in a great location for Airbnb?
Saffron explains that capitalizing on popular local events are a great way to ease your way into Airbnb hosting. These are events that bring in a lot of traffic like:
- Local sporting events
- National parks
- Iron Man
- The Paralympics
- Traveling doctors or nurses or interns
- Political conventions
- Nearby universities with international students
Airbnb Amenities: how to guarantee return guests and great reviews
Saffron talks about the preparation work that will make your Airbnb stand out. Make your home look like you’re going to sell it, and remember the little treats like snacks, drinks, and smaller scale shampoos and soaps. Many of these soap items can be purchased in bulk from Amazon. Providing your kitchen for your guests’ use is a huge amenity.
How do you protect yourself as a homeowner?
Saffron suggests that you ask guests about themselves. Find out what they’re doing and where they’re going and the more forthcoming they are, the more you can trust that they’re legit. People who can instant book are frequent guests on Airbnb. Don’t be afraid of the renters and trust the system that’s in place to protect you. Put boundaries in place by making your cancellation policy aggressive, choosing your schedule carefully, and looking at renters’ recommendations from other people.
When is it time to create your own Airbnb business?
If you rent for 14 days or less, you don’t count as a business. But if you’re ready to take your Airbnb hosting to the next level, be sure to file the right paperwork so that your tax bill doesn’t take you by surprise.
What are some mistakes you made for saving up for adoption and fertility?
Saffron encourages listeners to contribute the max to their HSA because you’ll never know when you need it for health problems. She recommends that couples adopting or going through fertility use multiple sources of income so that they can more confidently achieve their goal.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of family, marriage, money, fertility and adoption.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your judgement-free appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where’d you like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Monday May 13, 2019
Monday May 13, 2019
Laura Coleman interviews Dr. Travis Parry, an international speaker and coach to financial professionals and entrepreneurs. They discuss their similar missions about helping people live their lives on purpose and with intention. They delve into how childhood experiences can shape the money stories we tell ourselves, and how we can address these stories with positive intention.
Dr. Parry discusses the pivotal moment his father’s death played in his career.
Dr. Parry began his career in insurance. In his spare time, he devoured financial courses because he truly wanted to help people live their best financial life. After his father’s early death, his mom employed him to help organize the family’s finances. This trans-formative experience drove him back to academia so that he could learn about couples and how to truly help them.
The number one issue that couples fight about is…..
Money! But it is NOT the number one issue that causes divorce. It is the most emotional issue in a marriage, more than sex or parenting. And couples simply don’t know how to talk about money. Laura and Dr. Parry share some ways that couples can discuss this sensitive subject.
What shared values do couples need to have about money?
Dr. Parry talks about the importance of sharing similar parenting and religious values. He points out that how we worship in private is more important than how we worship in public in the context of a marriage. When couples share goals, especially financial goals, it will translate into increased happiness in their partnership.
Where do financial values come from?
Laura and Dr. Parry discuss the roots of financial values. They talk about examining childhood memories of money, and the importance of talking to your spouse about your money beliefs. There can be a lot of negative emotions when talking about money: shame, fear, extreme privacy, and hoarding money. Dr Parry emphasizes that it isn’t WHAT you teach kids about money; it’s what you DO with money that will teach them.
How can you teach older adopted children about money?
Laura and Dr. Parry discuss how much harder it can be to teach older adopted children about money because they may have already experienced poor money examples. Dr. Parry emphasizes that money should be about stewardship. Teaching this value will help children who struggle with hoarding or spending every penny they have.
Religion and Money: How can we reconcile the two?
Dr. Parry defines a value as a principle that defines your direction. A lot of religious values, including the misquoted scripture “Money is the root of all evil”, conflict with good financial principles. Dr. Parry shares some personal examples of conflicting religious and financial values that have affected a family’s relationship with money for generations.
Which is better for your marriage: coaching or therapy?
Dr. Parry explains the difference between therapy and coaching. Therapy is designed to listen to you. It is there to help you unload and self-reflect. Coaching, on the other hand, teaches you communication skills, problem-solving skills, and how to have intimacy in all areas of your life so that you can be prepared to take on the money aspect of your relationship.
What is the #1 best way to fix your relationship?
Simply put, it is time. Spend time together talking about your values, putting financial things into place, having fun, and sharing dreams and ideas. If you want to fix your relationship, the absolute best thing to do is to spend quality time with your partner.
If you loved this podcast, please subscribe and follow us for more conversations about the intersection of family, marriage, money, fertility and adoption.
Are you ready to become a forever family? Schedule your judgement-free appointment today to talk with Laura about where you’re at in your financial journey, where’d you like to be, and how you’d like to get there.
Wednesday May 08, 2019
Wednesday May 08, 2019
Laura Coleman interviews Daniel Eck, MS, LCPC, a clinical professional counselor with 6 years of experience. They talk about how to keep a marriage strong during fertility. They discuss some of the unique emotional challenges that couples undergoing fertility deal with and Daniel suggests some healthy coping mechanisms.
How do husbands and wives come together as a team during fertility?
In the beginning of a marriage, a couple may mistake their similar values as the same values. When they realize they will need to address fertility challenges, they may realize that they are not quite on the same page. How do couples navigate these difficult conversations and expectations?
How to communicate when you feel all the feelings
Daniel and Laura talk about assertive communication and the importance of meaning what you say. Daniel talks about the importance of leading with emotions, talking about how you feel, and asking for what you need from the other person. Laura gives some real life examples from her counseling experiences.
What can you do when one spouse becomes disengaged?
Daniel shares ideas for resolving separation mentality. He reminds listeners that as human beings, it’s okay to be emotional and irrational as we navigate these difficult conversations. He warns that no premarital counseling ever really prepares couples to go through fertility.
Focus on your fertility WHY
Laura encourages couples to focus on the WHY behind their fertility journey. Daniel and Laura discuss the importance of becoming equal partners in a marriage, and avoiding the unhealthy parent/child or employer/employee relationship dynamics. Daniel talks about the importance of recognizing and acting on a partner’s “bids”.
Healthy Coping Mechanisms during fertility treatments
Daniel shares how couples can deal with the stress of fertility by:
- Having regular, planned date nights
- Having scheduled check-ins with a partner
- Seeing things from a holistic viewpoint,
- Playing a board game
- Watching a movie
- Finding a way to have fun with your spouse
- Exercising regularly
- Accepting that you cannot control your life
- Embracing the ambiguity
Daniel encourages couples to connect with others’ going through the same experiences. You are not alone as you experience fertility treatments. You can draw strength from other people in similar circumstances.